Service: it doesn't need to be big

We have lived in this house for 3 years now. Our neighbor's were a quiet couple in their late 80's early 90's. They married while in their teens and still held hands every time we saw them. They pretty much kept to themselves, waving when we crossed. If we didn't see them we'd drop by to make sure they were well. In the winter we'd shovel the walks and driveway before they would be up, then we'd giggle to ourselves when he would yell at us for it, but love the twinkle in those eyes.

This last March I was home with a sick child, and heard the sirens before I saw the ambulance pull in. He'd fallen and she couldn't get him up. Being a school day she didn't think we were home and her daughter was out of town. Myself and another neighbor worked as fast as we could to shovel the drive before they wheeled him out. He passed away at the age of 93 just 3 days later- from leukemia. They had no idea, he was diagnosed the day he collapsed.

Ever since then we go over every day. We bring her a meal once a week, give her a hug, and every day my 10 yr old goes over to get her mail for her. Sometimes we just sit with her on the porch now that it's getting nice.

There is no service too little to count.

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Letterboxing- a great family activity!

I give credit to my mom for our most recent hobby. She’s been doing it for a long time and fully introduced us to it to us about a month ago when she was up visiting.

Letterboxing is a “treasure hunt” for children and adults alike. Letterboxers hide small, weatherproof boxes in publicly-accessible places (like parks) and post clues to finding the box online:



Letterboxing.org
AtlasQuest.com

There are about 20,000 letterboxes hidden in North America alone- 111 listings for North West Montana and 46 listings for South West Montana (which is my neck of the woods!) Individual letterboxes usually contain a log book, an often hand-carved rubber stamp and may contain an ink pad. Finders make an imprint of the letterbox's stamp on their personal log book, and leave an imprint of their personal stamp on the letterbox's logbook.

Over the last month we have placed 3 of our own and have spent at least one day a weekend looking for them, some evenings as well.

Not only are we spending time together as a family, but we’re out walking around and having a blast doing it!! My pedometer is getting killer readings when we go out trekking!

We even started a blog to keep track (and of course pictures) of what we've done so family, friends & trekkers can see what's going on.

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Morning's Abbreviated Essentials

Occasionally, you and I have a late start morning. This is either because we have overslept or because our "public" morning is starting earlier than usual. Sometimes, when I have unexpected late nights counseling or comforting, the morning after can be daunting because I lose pacing so quickly because of the demands of the day (which are always sitting there ready to pounce as soon as I am up). Other times, the day is going to start earlier than usual and I will have to be ready to go before I’m even really awake.

How do you keep up the habits which firmly launch you into a good day, those essential patterns of prayer, scripture reading, exercising, and beautifying, even when you get a late start?

I am learning several skills. May I share?

When I know an upcoming morning is going to be hectic, my greatest tool is pre-planning. What will I wear, in what order will I do my necessary routines? What tasks will I leave for later in the day? What will I substitute out or even eliminate?

Because I know you will enjoy this, I will share a recent example. I was going to have an early, hectic morning. I decided what I would wear the night before. I chose a simple, easy to put on outfit that would meet my housecleaning needs plus be useful when I shared an afternoon in public with an associate (minus the apron I would wear in the morning to keep my clothes clean and plus a scarf at my neck).

I always pray first and did so in my usual seclusion. I decided that my exercise for the day would be briskly walking from my van to the afternoon appointment and then back again, so I parked an extra block away from the appointment on purpose to accomplish my exercise need (however abbreviated it would be).

I took a smaller set of scriptures to read while waiting for my associate to arrive as I knew this person was often a bit late and this would accommodate that part of my daily routine. I also took a notebook to make journal notes in case they were even later than my scripture reading needs with the thought to make a complete journal entry when I arrived home.

I decided to eliminate most of my makeup and just use lipstick and mascara because the outfit I had chosen tended to brighten my facial features in a natural way and with the addition of a scarf, I would look nice enough.

I prepared my simple lunch and the paperwork necessary for my appointment the night before so it would be ready to grab when I was going out the door (and left a written reminder on my desk).

All in all, it worked so much better than other late start mornings I have struggled through. So let’s be in charge again of our days, our moods, and our accomplishments. In other words, because some mornings are messy, let’s have a plan of attack for all unannounced such mornings and especially for those we can anticipate. Much of this is helped by a morning with our personal essential habits still a part of our routine, however abbreviated their place may be!

©2009 Marie Calder Ricks/www.houseoforder.com
(One photograph by David N. Ricks. Used with permission.)

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Refuse to Abandon the Good

In a recent General Conference address President Monson said, "Temptations come in various forms throughout our lives" (May 2008 "Ensign", page 65). This statement rings true in so many ways; the temptations of life are always there, they just change shape, shade, and kind. Often we little realize that they are tugging us away from the very principles we hold dear.

One temptation that seems to plague the middle and later years of life is an abandonment of the good. Think of it, haven’t you been tempted to skip this month’s fast because you have fasted for so many years and you’re tired, hungry, and distracted just this Sabbath? Have you wondered if it will really matters if you don’t go to the temple this time? Do you have to hold family home evening this week? Haven’t you done it enough? And what about doing family history? Do you really have to keep making time for it when you’ve done so much already? Can’t it all just wait and you’ll catch up later?

Oh, the subtly of the adversary, thinking to make us complacent and content, just a little too comfortable with letting things slide.

"But I’ve been in the nursery before, too many times, in fact."

"I have already taught Primary, supported the Scouts, and gone to one too many dull Sacrament meetings."

This temptation to abandon the good is everywhere around us. We see it in the partially active neighbor, in our less-than-interested son, and in the former ward leader who seems to be going slowly but distinctly dormant.

This desire to abandon, even just a little bit, might happen because we feel we’ve been abandoned, sometimes by others and sometimes by God. It is then we must be strong. We must actively seek to do good. This means a decision, a commitment to action, a desire to keep up with the good works of previous years. When we are younger, "action" is thrust upon us with responsibilities and challenges coming faster than we would want. As we mature and life brings new seasons, we often have to decide to act. It is action we can and must plan. We must continue to "go about doing good."

Examples from my own life sustain me when I feel weak. When our son was dying of leukemia, my parents came and fasted with us the day after their tiring and hot road trip to bless the last days of our child.

My paternal aunt has never left her family history to another and carefully saves and preserves the heritage of her parents, grandparents, and two daughters who have gone on before her to heaven. She trusts that this family history will bless her children, grandchildren, cousins, siblings, nieces, and nephews for many years to come. She continues to act despite her 80 years, a failing hip, and nagging pains throughout her body.

My maternal grandmother regularly and diligently acted by serving in the local hospital, attending the temple, and writing to her numerous posterity long after her husband had passed away. Taking action was a choice, her choice, and it blessed her life, those she loved, and many people on both sides of the veil.

I hope I too can choose to "seek" for the good, to avoid the temptation of abandonment, that I may stand firm in my commitments, convictions, and covenants. President Monson continued his counsel, "Jesus loved. Jesus served. Jesus testified. Let us begin now, this very night, to do so. Cast off forever will be the old self and with it defeat, despair, doubt, and disbelief. To a newness of life we come--a life of faith, hope, courage, and joy." With our prophet’s counsel I feel recommitted to never abandon the good and to instead strive to act, plan, and seek it. I want to refuse to let this temptation of the later years afflict my life or rob it of the joys which have been promised.

I believe that refusing to abandon the good is, in part, what enduring to the end means--simply refusing to abandon that which should be most precious to us, the true gospel of Jesus Christ and our personal commitments to it that anchor our lives.

©2009 Marie Calder Ricks/www.houseoforder.com
(Photography by David N. Ricks. Used with permission.)

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A Home Manager's Desk Can Be A Home Manager's Haven

Where do you start when you want to begin making that abode of yours manageable enough to handle the pressures of life?

Set Up Home Office
Setting up a home office is the very first place to begin as it seems to make the most difference to the most people as they approach organizing their home. Why? Because dealing with the constant presence of "too many" papers causes enormous stress in our lives. Confining and managing paperwork brings a great sense of control to a home manager’s life.

So, set up an effective home office. There are three essentials: a flat surface (the bigger the better), a small drawer or container for office supplies and tools, and a larger drawer or box for filing papers.

A Flat Surface
While an actual desk with drawers large and small is best, other useful flat surfaces may be your kitchen table or a small table in a corner of the bedroom. However, one thing is very important: The surface is kept reasonably clean at all times. This is because most paperwork is best handled without first having to clean up a previous mess. Try to keep that surface clean and ready for you at all times.

Office Supplies
Second, prepare a small container or drawer for office supplies. Gather or purchase tools that will aid you in handling paperwork: paper clips, a stapler, a three-hole punch, pencils and pens, post-it notes, and scotch tape. Keep these together as close as possible to the "desk" so you can sit down and go to work.

File Folders
Third, have a larger desk drawer or a convenient box to hold file folders. Four file folders should be labeled immediately. They are: TO DO, PENDING, BILLS TO PAY, and TO FILE. Every piece of mail which comes into the home can be kept in one of these folders until it is handled. Papers in the TO DO file are dealt with the next time you tackle paper work. Papers in the PENDING file have partially been handled but are waiting a reply (rebates), an event (a wedding), or a response ( outstanding correspondence). BILLS TO PAY is self-explanatory. This file keeps the bills in one place so they can be paid in a timely manner. TO FILE is where papers of value are kept for one month before being re-examined to see if they really are worth the trouble to keep.

So, with the acquisition or arrangement of these three tools and some time to set up, you are ready to be a professional home manager with his/her own home office! Good luck.

©2009 Marie Calder Ricks/www.houseoforder.com

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Its My Fight and Yours

I have always tried to protect my home from pornography. I cut inappropriate pictures from the newspaper so my family could read it with safety and expurgated our sons’ high school art books so they could avoid as much nudity as possible. I taught my children to turn away from the TV when improper commercials came on and to "look for pennies" on the ground at school when skirts were too high or cleavage too low. Now my protecting also includes keeping our home internet connection a safe portal to the world.

The first time I fought public pornography was when a beauty shop next to my local bank put up oversized signs that caused me embarrassment. I was a young mother and wasn’t brave in those days. I telephoned from home after my errands were done, knowing there was no caller I.D., and I would be completely anonymous in my request that the signs be removed. To my surprise, they were gone when I happened that way again and I felt somewhat gratified.

Recently I have felt I must do more. So when a family grocery store in my area displayed a six-foot cardboard model which made my husband blush, I asked to see the store manager. I inquired if she knew what was at the front of her store. She did not and when she returned, she was blushing. Apparently a vendor had put up the display without permission and for hours customers had been getting the wrong impression about the moral values of those who ran the establishment. The sign was removed and wasn’t replaced. Sometime later, I found bottles of root beer with nudity on the cardboard label in that same store. That visit with the manager produced the same results: the product was removed from the shelves.

So over time, and with some renewed conviction, I have learned I can make a difference. It is mostly in my home, my neighborhood, and my community that I have tried to keep things clean and safe. But then, if every conscientious adult took the initiative to clean their home, neighborhood, and the areas where they run errands of visual filth, I don’t believe there would be any more dirt of that kind to clean up.

Last week I visited a recently opened "super store" near my home. On the main aisle was a display of calendars, complete with a "swimsuit edition." I picked up the calendar which offended me, covered it with two more "friendly" calendars, and walked to the front of the store. (You never know what someone might think seeing you with a bikini calendar heading towards the registers.) I visited with the assistant manager because the manager wasn’t there. I spoke of a family-friendly store, how much I wanted to be safe when I shopped, and how much it would mean to me if this particular calendar wasn’t stocked. She concurred kindly and later told me that this item had been pulled and wouldn’t appear again. It was hard to speak out against pornography, and yet it was simple. Twenty minutes of my time and a whole lot of my courage bought an aisle at the store which will be safer for all future shoppers.

In speaking out against pornography in my community I haven’t always been treated kindly. I have been laughed at and sometimes even wondered if it will really make a difference in the long run. In one clothing store I couldn’t easily shop because of the distracting, over-sized, and inappropriate banners. The manager was rude and declared she wasn’t in charge of the advertising in her store and that nothing I did could make a difference. It felt like defeat, and maybe for a moment it was, but even if I stood alone, I had stood for the right.

This I know: I have tried; I have stood up; I have declared my values and held up a standard. I continue to believe that any kind of pornography does not belong in our lives. We must nurture the good, the clean, and the moral. We must clear our lives of evil and stand up against it when others seem to embrace this vice. We must do this one day, one experience, and one brave moment at a time. Together we can keep the world safe for our families, our neighbors, and anyone else who wants to grow up in a world of moral purity by speaking out against pornography.

©2009 Marie Calder Ricks/www.houseoforder.com.
(Photography by David N. Ricks. Used with permission.)

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E.E.E. Plan

Winter cold has set in, chilly afternoons seem to last forever, and the undone "to do" list is already very long for this season. But even as outstanding projects are approached, routines are maintained, and pressures are handled, I also want to get my personal life and home in order again. I want to live "leaner" and "nicer" without the encumbrance of over abundance that constantly threatens peace and perspective. So I have a new plan. As my daily schedule allows, I am going to go through all the rooms in my house and employ the E.E.E. plan for each and every drawer, shelf, nook, and cranny.


The E.E.E. plan provides for minimizing and allows our family to work at this project even as we abundantly share what is not really needed. The three steps include:

- E1) Everything out (of the particular closet, cupboard, or drawer I am working on),

- E2) Essentials back in (this same closet, cupboard, or drawer with a goal of keeping just half or approximately 50%), and

- E3) Extras gone (from my life).

So first I am going to make up a simple chart listing the rooms in our home. This will give me a written plan for this project. I am going to be doing this for a few months and with a chart of my E.E.E. plan and a bit of time each day/week to purge, I can still keep up with my other responsibilities and feel so much better about myself and my life. When I come to another family member’s possessions, I will share the project with them, teaching concepts and encouraging sharing.

I’m going to start at the back door and work around the house room by room, using this personalized chart to list the shelves, drawers and closets that need attention. Then I can check off my progress as I work through the E.E.E. plan. A partially completed chart might look like this:


For instance, I have a laundry room next to my back door with four areas of storage, so my E.E.E. chart for the laundry room will have four boxes to check off next to the four listings. The half bath has one cupboard under the sink with two shelves, a vanity, and some drawers so that room will have three listings and three boxes to check off. The kitchen will need six listings and check boxes. This written plan will make it much easier to tackle a huge project.

These three concepts will make everything easier when I am purging.


Enough is enough already.

It is obvious to anyone visiting that I have too much stuff. It is also apparent I like to keep all these possessions. I have spent money, time, and energy purchasing, gathering, bargaining, and otherwise working to "own." But now it is time to "share." I will keep half of everything, yes the better half, but still only half. For instance, when it is time to address the adorable, but crowded, Disney trinket shelf, I will choose only the very best half to keep. The rest I will share.


Liberation comes with less.

If half of everything I own is eliminated, than the other half will become more precious, more valued, and more used. When I come to the closet, I will take out all the blouses, then the slacks, and finally the shoes, and return only half (the best half, yes) and let the rest go. The gained space will make my home feel larger and my soul less shackled with clutter.


Friends stay, freeloaders go.

Many times I keep things that are useful, but which are no longer needed. They have lost their purpose in my life although they are sound, workable, and sometimes valuable. It is time, especially when I get to the kitchen, to let some of the pans, glass dishes, and cooking utensils find a new home. Freeloaders are no longer allowed. Only friends are welcome.

If this project appeals to you, feel free to download E.E.E. Plan forms for your own use from www.houseoforder.com/downloads.htm. Print up several copies, note the rooms are you are going to clean out, and then walk through your home noting the shelves, drawers, cupboards, and closets that need addressing in each of those rooms. Put your completed forms on a clipboard for ease of retrieval and crossing off of those important check boxes. Schedule just a bit of time each day or maybe a longer period of time each week, and lift the load of too much stuff from your shoulders. It is time!

As you overhaul your life, your home, and your stash, employ this E.E.E. plan. While it will take some time and trouble, it will make for a great personal accomplishment! Together, we will find peace and prosperity as we clean up and clean out!

©2009 Marie Calder Ricks/www.houseoforder.com

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