How the Environment in the Home Affects Children

Sunday, November 8, 2009

By Shiloah Baker

“Children are affected from the beginning by what they see and hear within the walls of their home. Their environment creates their taste.” –Arthur Henry King 

From the first day I learned that I was going to be a mother, I began collecting books, toys and things that I knew would benefit my child. I read every resource manual I could get my hands on. Like most women, I want the best for my child. I quickly learned that in addition to providing shelter, clothes, food and love, that the environment in the home is an important key to raising a well adjusted child.

Creating an Environment for Learning

Years later when I decided to homeschool my children I was introduced to the Thomas Creating an Environment for LearningJefferson Education or a Leadership Education. One of the suggestions was to build a library of classic books. I had maybe a small bookshelf full at that time and not surprisingly my kids weren’t big readers. I took the advice to heart and over the next four years I gathered and built a large “brain” storage of books for our home. We have over eight bookshelves now spilling over with fun, classic and educational books. More importantly, my children have caught on to this passion for reading good, wholesome literature-literature that educates. Not a day goes by that I don’t see the children pouring through books, rifling through the bookshelves or reading in a corner. We have a large bookshelf outside of my bedroom door which is at the end of a long hallway. When a child is waiting to speak with me, she naturally chooses a book, sits by my door and takes a little adventure with words on the pages. What joy it brings me to see the difference having a library of books in your home can make.

“Every single item is of relevance to our education and to the education of our children.”–Arthur Henry King

How many times have you noticed your baby would rather play with empty boxes or magazines than her own baby toys? Children always want to help mommy bake cookies and can’t wait to learn how to make their first peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Children have a natural curiosity and we should allow them to explore and learn within the safety of our home.

Children learn naturally through their own environment. Why should a small child fill out a worksheet on how to match socks, when they can learn that same skill only using all their senses: the smell of the laundry detergent used, the visual senses of colors and patterns, touching the various textures of socks and occasionally tasting the texture of socks. I have many fond memories of sock folding growing up and trying the over-sized ones on my hands and sliding around the bare floors with them on my feet. The natural learning experiences within the home are powerful.

I’ve made it a mission to keep the majority of commercialized toys out of our home. They do not foster learning like a set of plain building blocks or a life-like baby doll with clothes and cloth diapers. Even though they wanted them and got them for birthdays, my children have never treasured commercialized toys (such as Barbie dolls, Bratz, etc.). After the initial excitement wears off, I find those toys lying around unused with little to no interest. We have never had that happen with puzzles, wooden beads, blocks, or art supplies- the basics for foundational and explorative learning.


Organization and Structure

I used to cringe when I heard those words, but now as a mother of many I feel excited and inspired when I see them. After being a mother for nearly fourteen years I have learned that children, some more so than others, thrive when there is structure and organization in the home. We have seven children, two children with autism and two others with various disabilities. When things become chaotic in our home, not only do our family pets react (i.e. birds chirp frantically) but the children react to it too. Every family has a rhythm whether they realize it or not. The question is- is it conducive to teaching and does it promote family time?

I love reading Steven and Teri Maxwell who have written a couple of books on this subject. They successfully homeschooled and raised eight children and now write about how they did it- it involved scheduling, structure and organization. “God has given us a powerful example and analogy of scheduling in the natural world. Everything that He has created, from atoms to the universe, has a periodic cycle. There is a timetable God has applied to each part of His creation. This is easily seen in the weather. Year by year, each season comes at its ‘scheduled’ time bringing with it predictable changes.” (1) If God uses scheduling, I believe it is an example to us that using a family schedule is something we should do too.
While it is unnecessary and too constricting to schedule all of your time, coming up with a family schedule/rhythm for each day gives the home an organized environment while giving peace to each family member so they each can know what to expect in their daily routine. This is especially important if you have children or adults in the home with disabilities. Eliminate the disordered feeling and house clutter by prayerfully creating your own unique family rhythm complete with chore time.

Keeping a Morally Clean Environment in the Home is Imperative

"Parents now are concerned about the moral and spiritual diseases. These can have terrible complications when standards and values are abandoned. We must all take protective measures.” -Boyd K. Packer

Memories from books and the pictures in the books teach, mold and shape a person. Just as we should fill our homes with uplifting and wholesome books, we should be equally as careful about not bringing anything contrary to that in the home. I heard it once said that if a young boy were to view pornography in his own home he will be a customer for life. Is it worth it to allow anything pornographic in your home? Never. Aside from the fact that it is morally wrong, the risk is too great.

Regarding music-while I am fairly careful about lyrics to the new music, it is easy for things to slip by our notice from time to time. I find that I feel inspiration often to continually sift through the music my family and I listen to. We are all aware of the powerful effects of music on our moods. Music teaches and depending on the words and the beat it can teach negative or positive things. By my vigilantly reviewing music, talking with the kids about their feelings on the songs and reading the lyrics online my family is learning to do the same. Even though you may not always listen to the lyrics, your subconscious mind does and then records it. I think I would rather know what my subconscious mind is recording by paying close attention to what I or my children listen to.

Television needs a filter like the computer. We don’t watch regular TV because the morals portrayed on everyday television, especially the commercials, are not in line with ours. Instead we rent Netflix and buy the movies we enjoy the most. We carefully screen the reviews and ratings before watching and buying movies.

Raising children is anything but easy; but it is so worth it. Each child comes to our home with his/her own unique personalities. I find it fascinating to see how for the most part, children naturally pick up many qualities of their parents, whether it be the habits they pick up, facial expressions or one or a combination of both parent’s temperaments. I have three sisters and while we don’t look exactly alike anyone can tell we are sisters when they listen to us talk or see our mannerisms. It is an art to take into consideration all the differences of personalities in the family and apply the perfect mix of teaching, religion, and love. Children can’t help but to be influenced by the home environment especially when the parents care so much about making it a positive one.



Works Cited

1. Maxwell, Steven and Teri. Managers of Their Homes. s.l. : Communications Concepts, Inc., 1998.

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Pumpkin Bread, The Kind the Angels Must Eat Because It Is So Good

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Pumpkin Bread

Mix and set aside:
2-3 t baking soda
2/3 c water

Mix in large bowl:
3 c sugar
1 c vegetable oil
2 c pumpkin
4 eggs (or 8 egg whites)

Add & mix in: baking soda solution

Add & mix in:
3-1/3 to 3-1/2 c flour
1 t cinnamon
½ t nutmeg
1 t vanilla
1 t salt

Pour into 3 greased bread pans. Options: top batter with 1 c chocolate chips. Bake 350 degrees 50-60 min. (large bread pans), 30-40 min. (small bread pans), 20-25 min. for 12 muffins.

L. Smith shared with me 2005. ©2009 Marie Calder Ricks/www.houseoforder.com.

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An Angel On My Street

I met an angel the other day. At least I think so. She is a woman in my neighborhood that became aware of some specific family needs in another town in the valley and thought she would do something about it this month. The husband has less than adequate employment, the pantry is rather bare, and the upcoming holidays look somewhat bleak. She is no different than so many others I have met through the years, but I was made glad because her requests helped me let go of things I really don’t need or want and yet haven’t had the courage to share. (We cling so tightly to our stuff.)

The requests were small: gently worn clothing, unused canned goods, coats that were gathering dust, and toys that were no longer really being used. I knew I had plenty of each of those items stashed in my home, each needing release to bless others’ lives.

As I went through my house, pulling cans from the pantry, finding two pairs of shoes that really don’t work for me, a couple of tops that are warm but don’t fit, and purging the unused games, I felt "cleaned out" and "freshened." We keep so much we really, really don’t need, sometimes because we worry another won’t appreciate our treasures enough to make the sharing worthwhile.

May I suggest that you, too, take just a few minutes this week and find the "angel" items in your house. Start at your front door and work your way around the house with a sturdy bag or box in hand. Gather items from the front closet, the linen shelves, the bedroom drawers, and the storage room stacks. As you fill one bag, tie it off (double knots keep you from cheating), get another bag, and keep on looking for the "angel" items. If you use boxes, tape them shut as you fill them to resist peeking again and being indecisive.

Purge your jewelry, clothes, coats, and mittens. Find unneeded games, books, videos, and music. Let go of your over-abundance wherever you find it in the house, the garage, or the yard. Gather these items, bag them up, and share them generously.

Yes, give, give, give! It won’t cost you a thing, it won’t even dampen your style. In fact, it will help you get organized and ready for the influx of gifts which are surely to come your way soon.

You might even want to get your kids involved, maybe your spouse, and definitely the friend down the street that could lose a few items from her personal stockpile. This is the season to "release" first before we go about gathering all over again. You and I can both gain from losing a few pounds of unneeded possessions.

So look for those "angel" items, gather them in boxes or bags, and then find an angel who is collecting items to share with others. Yes, find the order which returns to your home and soul when you have stripped yourself of what you don’t really need just it time to make another’s holiday bright with anticipation. Happy Giving!

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You Can Feel the Holidays Just Around the Corner

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

It has rained in my area over the weekend, bringing the smell of fallen and soaked leaves to me every time I open the front door. Yes, it is time to get ready for the holidays. There are so many things to do, so many decisions to make, so many places to go. May I suggest a way to make the holidays a whole lot simpler, not just this year but every year?

Many of you have discovered the value of making up lists. This is a vital principle regarding holidays. But, I would like to add an additional principle: Make up your lists PERMANENTLY and use them year after year, adding and subtracting details to meet your current needs, but having a core list that can be used over and over again. May I illustrate?

Find a 3" x 5" recipe card box. Label twelve 3" x 5" card dividers with the months of the year. Find or purchase 50 white or colored, lined 3" x 5" cards. Colored cards make these lists easy to see and retrieve. (You may have already set up a 3" x 5" card box to keep your housecleaning plan cards in place. With ease you can now add several more index cards, behind the appropriate monthly tabs, for holiday preparations.) There should be several holidays cards prepared for each holiday. Depending on the holidays which you celebrate, they will be entitled: Holiday Meal, Holiday Traditions, Holiday Decorations, Holiday Shopping, Holiday Preparations before Holiday, and Holiday Preparations day of Holiday.

For instance, we celebrate Thanksgiving at our home, so my permanent holidays cards would be entitled (as I prepare for this holiday):

Thanksgiving Meal
Thanksgiving Traditions
Thanksgiving Decorations
Thanksgiving Shopping
Thanksgiving Preparations (before Turkey Day)
Thanksgiving Preparations (on Turkey Day)

On each of these cards I list the items particular to that card. So, on the Thanksgiving Meal card I would list the menu items I usually prepare for the Thanksgiving meal. Then on the Thanksgiving Shopping card I list all the specialty items needed for Thanksgiving day that I don't regularly have in my pantry or cupboards.

On the Thanksgiving Traditions card I list the special events that we include on Thanksgiving such as watching football games on TV and giving to the food bank. This reminds me of those special furniture arrangements I need to make to accommodate company watching football and canned goods which I can be setting aside to contribute. On the Thanksgiving Decorations card I list where the Thanksgiving decorations are stored, where turkey platter is hidden, and where Thanksgiving table napkins are tucked (just one more thing I don't have to keep in my head).

On the Thanksgiving Preparations (before Turkey Day) card I list the chores I need to do to prepare for Thanksgiving Day (like get out the frozen turkey to thaw in the refrigerator, make and freeze my rolls beforehand, make up my pies so they can season in the refrigerator, and find my bottled bread and butter pickles). On the Thanksgiving Preparations (on Turkey Day) card I list the activities which will be important when I first get up, those that must be done after lunch, and finally those that I need to finish just before we serve the big evening meal.

Having these cards prepared, referring to them year after year (and adding occasionally to them as I make mistakes) and being able to prepare for a holiday with confidence and good pacing. It has just taken the hassle, frustration, and worry out of this season. Try it yourself and soon you will have your own collection of cards for Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's Eve, New Year's Day, and any and every other holiday for which you are personally responsible.

©2009 Marie Calder Ricks/www.houseoforder.com. Photos by David N. Ricks and Sandy Sellers. Used with permission.

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When the Baby Comes

Friday, September 18, 2009

I recently received the following inquiry:

I am a mom of four, with a new baby and I was just wondering if you had any tips to getting back into the groove of keeping my house in order. It seems after each baby I seem to fall back in to clutter and can't jump back into a schedule for a few months. Of course I am spending precious time with the little one, but looking around my house makes me feel overwhelmed knowing that it is going to be a big job getting everything back the way I like it. Do you have any tips so I can continue to snuggle this little bundle and keep my house organized?

May I suggest some valuable tips for this season of life?

1) Most women want to return to "normal" as soon as possible, not realizing that their new situation means that their "old" normal will never be possible because there has been a sweet addition to their home. So instead of trying to return to the "old" normal we must look to what the "new" normal will look like. This principle is also useful to anyone going through a transition in life. There is no returning to the "old" normal, there is only looking towards the "new" normal.

2) Having a baby, caring for the valued bundle properly, and giving him or her the attention needed, plus taking care of your own health, the house, and the rest of the family is totally, overwhelmingly exhausting. As much as possible, for at least three or so months (or about when the baby is sleeping regularly through the night), don’t take anything more on AND limit the amount of energy spent on any previous commitments. The phrase I like is: "50%, I will give just 50% to anything outside my immediate family circle."

3) Learn the beauty of the word "NO", because every time you say no to any and everything outside the absolute necessities, you are saying yes to precious time with the baby, the other family members (who are also getting used to the "new" normal), and yourself. This is the time to center your energies inward.

4) Learn the need to say "YES", because every time you let someone else help you out, you will reap the benefits of peace and capacity. Let others do your normal housekeeping, fold your wash, run your errands, and bring in meals. Say "YES" whenever they offer. Be specific about how you might be helped: "Yes, I could use some milk. Could you buy two gallons and also pick up a bunch of bananas for me?" "Yes, I do have some mending that needs attending to. Can I leave it on the front porch as I’m just off to take a nap while the baby is asleep and the kids are at school?" "Yes, I would love to have you fix dinner for me tonight. Thanks for knowing that two weeks into a baby is the perfect time for an evening without fixing a meal." When you begin to return to regular housework, for the most part ignore any major cleaning, scrubbing, or organizing. Mostly focus on "neating." Remember, that neating up your house makes it look 80% clean. The rest of the needs will wait until your energy returns, the baby begins to sleep regularly, and routines can be restored. I like to focus on the minimum five: laundry, bills, meals, public areas, and bathrooms.

5) Finally, be kind to yourself and go SLOW. If you don’t feel like company yet, ask for a rain check. If you don’t feel like going out yet, suggest another time. If you don’t feel like working, rest. Soon enough your energy and capacity will return. In the meantime, give that baby a kiss for me and remember "50%, I’ll just give 50% until I feel ready to embrace this ‘new’ normal into my life."

©2009 Marie Calder Ricks/www.houseoforder.com

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Jam and Homemade Bread

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Today I would like to share a tender story from one of my new friends. When she was a little girl, her mother spent hours canning fruit and making jam. They always had homemade bread and her mom crafted beautiful dresses for both her and an older sister. When she was in seventh grade, her father lost his job, her mother went back to work to support the family, and her sister, who was seven years older, went away to college. During the next few years, her mother didn’t have time to do those "homemaking things" anymore, meaning canning fruit, making jam, and teaching Sarah how to bake bread.

And so even today, Sarah, who is a mother herself and also works outside the home, has never done any of these things and does not yet have the skills to do them. While her current circumstances do not allow full-time presence in her home nor the capacity to do all that her mother did when she was a young child, yet the yearning is there to experience the fragrance, feel the fabric, and look through freshly canned jelly.

So today I ask a question: What skills do you want to pass on to your daughters and sons? And if these skills are important to you, how can you organize your life to get them passed along? I’m not suggesting a major change in your lifestyle nor adding pressure to your already tight schedule. I more suggesting an experience or two like Sarah longs for: Putting yeasty dough into bread pans, stirring hot juices as pectin is added, or using sharp scissors to fashion a simple article of clothing. Just once in a while, maybe just once in a lifetime.

I guess I’m thinking about the holiday season coming up in a few months. Instead of spending quite so much money on things our family members will simply own, could we give them a tool, a certificate "good for" teaching them a skill associated with that tool, and then actually teaching them (or, in some cases, learning together)? You see, from Sarah’s point of view, she would have loved to have had just one hour, just one time with her mother learning how to put up jam or make homemade bread. Or maybe even just shared an hour with her the learning the techniques of canning fruit or cutting out a pattern to make a skirt.

What do you wish to pass on to the next generation and how can you order your life to spend an hour this week or even a Sunday afternoon in the next few weeks planning how to pass on those legacies most dear to your heart? I know it is important to me that I learned certain skills directly from my own parents. I have pulled steaming peach jars from Mom’s canner and sliced bread she let me fashion snugly in the pans. I have repaired a clunky lawnmower with my father and learned how he tied a simple knot to keep tarps in place. Today, I know it is also important for me to pass on sentimentally useful skills to the next generation.

So think about it, and in the mix-up, the muddle, and the mess of the upcoming months, ask yourself some important questions, ponder on how to proceed, and then plan to share. We must pass this legacy of homemaking skills (whatever they are and however we perceive they will best help our posterity) from generation to generation. Happy jamming!

©2009 Marie Calder Ricks/www.houseoforder.com

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Service: it doesn't need to be big

Monday, June 15, 2009

We have lived in this house for 3 years now. Our neighbor's were a quiet couple in their late 80's early 90's. They married while in their teens and still held hands every time we saw them. They pretty much kept to themselves, waving when we crossed. If we didn't see them we'd drop by to make sure they were well. In the winter we'd shovel the walks and driveway before they would be up, then we'd giggle to ourselves when he would yell at us for it, but love the twinkle in those eyes.

This last March I was home with a sick child, and heard the sirens before I saw the ambulance pull in. He'd fallen and she couldn't get him up. Being a school day she didn't think we were home and her daughter was out of town. Myself and another neighbor worked as fast as we could to shovel the drive before they wheeled him out. He passed away at the age of 93 just 3 days later- from leukemia. They had no idea, he was diagnosed the day he collapsed.

Ever since then we go over every day. We bring her a meal once a week, give her a hug, and every day my 10 yr old goes over to get her mail for her. Sometimes we just sit with her on the porch now that it's getting nice.

There is no service too little to count.

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